Saturday, September 29, 2012

If Only You Could See Me -- Kiler Davenport

If only you could see me, feel me, touch me, walk with me.
We sit together yet stand so far apart,we reach out and feel nothing.
We play the blame game, the shame game, we slash at the heart.
Knowing all the while we each have come with our own nasty baggage.
To want something so bad and to hate it all at the same time is sick and dark.
We said I love you when it was just nasty sweet lust, perverted lies.
Can’t believe we stayed together this long living this cum to cum life.
What could we have been, what could we have done, if only our eyes were open.
And now the deed is done you hold my offspring deep within your womb
This needy thing with a brain, this fetus, this anomaly, I never thought about this.
I can't love this thing, I don't even love myself, I don't even know who I am.
Go ahead and cry, we both laid down, we opened ourselves up for this one.
How can we possibly go through with this, we hate ourselves, even loathe.
We never talk unless were naked, we communicate with the pulsing of our hips.
We have shit for brains and now this, this child, this baby, this human.
Do we kill it, oh my god do we kill it, through it out like a piece of garbage.
I mean its ours you know the baby, it came from us, it is us, inside out.
Why are you looking at me that way, you never look at me that way, your eyes.
its almost like I've never seen you look like that before, its all mushy, real.
Like our baby is real, what the hell am I saying, I am a child, hold me.
Just hold me like you mean it, We never mean anything, sex, sex, sex.
I feel so damn worthless, its like I see myself for the first time, shame.
Pure rotten dirty twisted shame, stop screaming just hold me, stop.
All this time being together I never saw you, your eyes, smile, tears.
I will not dispose of what came from us, I have lived a life of shit.
I have pissed away my time conning the cons, living the lie, being the lie.
And now for the first time I feel something, something real, and I can’t run away.
For the first time I know what its like to be tossed in the garbage, thrown out.
I will not do to this child what was done to me, I choose to stand and fight.

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