Trapped inside my head

Where am I dear God? Have I died?

Look at her doesn’t she look so peaceful.

Yeah she’s went through a lot of pain.

Who are you? Where am I? Please tell me where I am.

I think we did the right thing bringing her here. They can take care of her needs so much better than we can.

Who are you talking to? Can’t you hear me? Why won’t you listen to me? I need to go to the bathroom. My stomach hurts. I can’t feel my left arm or leg. Please help me up.

Such a sad face Mama are you hungry.

I tried to feed her this morning and she spit it out.

I need to get up. My bowels are moving. Please help me.

What’s that smell?

Don’t look at me. You better call the nurse. I think it’s mom.

God, she’s pooping everywhere.

Please help me. Can’t you hear me? Don’t leave me here with these strange people.

Well mom we have to go. We will see you tomorrow.

She can’t hear you, poor thing. She’s out of it. Hospice will meet us here in the morning to take over the care. The doctor said she won’t get any better. Three to six months at the most.

Please in God’s holy name can’t you hear me? Don’t leave me here. I’m not going to die like this. I want to go home. Please take me home.

Look Tom her mouth is quivering almost like she is trying to say something.

Yes, the doctor said those are involuntary reflexes. She can’t even hear us.

Well the nurse is here mother. Tom and I will see you tomorrow. Bye now.

Wait, please wait. God help me.

Let’s get her cleaned up. She is going on hospice tomorrow. She looks like she might be in pain. Check the med chart and see if we can give her something to knock her out for the night.

You got it.

Oh God just let me die right now. I don’t want to be here. My family has left me here to die. Oh God I’m so cold.

Take that blanket off her. She looks hot. Let’s get out of here. We’ve got a busy night.